


Lest We Forget

by saawinchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abused Castiel, Angry Dean, Asshole Dean, Bitch Lisa, Bottom Cas, Captain Dean, Cop Castiel, Cop Dean, Dean gets better, Deputy Castiel, Destiel endgame, Emotional Abuse, F/M, Flashbacks, Former football player Dean, Guilty Dean, HEED TAGS, Hurt Castiel, Hurt Dean, Implied cheating Castiel, Lonely Castiel, M/M, Mentions of Rape, Misunderstandings, Mpreg, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Suicide, Past alcoholic Dean, Protective Dean, Rape, Self loathing Castiel, Sex, Top Dean, Upset Castiel, Verbal Abuse, crying cas, dean makes cas cry, guilty cas, hard times
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-01-29 08:42:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 19,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21407386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saawinchester/pseuds/saawinchester
Summary: On the night of Castiel’s 18th birthday, Dean caught his boyfriend in the act of cheating. A heartbroken and pissed off Dean decided to break it off with a guilty Castiel. Then, Dean puts Sioux Falls in his rearview mirror and chased his dream of becoming a cop.Within 10 years, Dean works his way up the ranks and earns his promotion of being the youngest Captain at only 28 years old. Unfortunately, the job placement is back in Sioux Falls Police Department.After much contemplation, Dean accepts the job offer and moves back to Sioux Falls. There he finds out that his ex, Castiel, is also a cop- a deputy. Castiel now falls under his command- and maybe it’s a bittersweet reward.Because maybe, he can serve Castiel his just desserts.Of course, Dean fails to see just how much hurt Castiel already is in and how much 10 years in a small hypocritical town can take its toll on someone’s life.For Dean, revenge is a dish best served cold.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Castiel/Michael (Supernatural), Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Sam Winchester/Gabriel
Comments: 367
Kudos: 607





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: And those who know me, will get it when I say, I couldn't help writing another fic! This one is filled with angst, drama, hurt, comfort. Please, heed warnings! It has a warning for rape/non-con and abuse, so please do not read if triggered easily! Fair warning!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anyone in this fic!
> 
> Forgive my English as it is my second language!
> 
> Enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: References to past rape, physical abuse, verbal and emotional abuse. Please do not read if triggered easily!

**Present moment….**

Castiel gets up from bed every morning with an aching body and eyelids that are hard to pry open due to crusted- dried up tears. 7pm is when he leaves for his morning shift, but before that, he has to cook up his still sleeping boyfriend’s breakfast and wake the man up with the perfect cup of black coffee. _That’s if he wants to avoid any altercations with his boyfriend._

_Michael_. That was his name. They had met 2 years ago at the town’s annual charity event for orphaned children. The man was charming and made Castiel feel special. Michael didn’t look at him like dirt under his shoes nor did the man treat Castiel like the way most of the townsfolk of Sioux Falls did. The man with the suit, tall, dark haired and green eyed swept him off his feet from the get go and as they say, the rest is history.

Castiel, for the first time felt like everything was heading towards the right direction. Maybe, things were going to work in his favor for once, but, when the first slap connected his right cheek a year into their relationship, his hope slowly diminished.

And the worst thing about it was that even though he was a cop at the Sioux Falls Police Department- a deputy to be exact- he allowed the abuse to continue. And with every hit, he reminded himself that he deserved the punishments that followed after he had broken the heart of the one he loved, 10 years ago.

Dean Winchester.

_Oh how their love was magical and unequivocal! _

Then, one mistake- giving Lucifer an invitation to his party- had cost him his relationship. He could still feel Luci pressing his hand down on his neck somewhat restricting the airflow in and out of his lungs, while the teenager violated him, into his very own bed. Castiel was a much tinier teen at the time, hence, a very drunk Lucifer was a very powerful and demanding Lucifer.

Then just when he thought things couldn’t get any worse, Dean had walked in and had assumed the horrible. His ex was so consumed by rage that he ended up punching Lucifer, shooting him a disgusted look before he blurted “We’re done!”

Castiel couldn’t forget the hurt that reflected off Dean’s face.

It still haunted his every footstep- and apparently, people, mostly Dean's friends found out and spread the news that Castiel had cheated on the town’s beloved quarterback. They blamed Castiel for Dean leaving.

And, yes, Castiel blamed himself too.

For all the bad luck that followed.

“Castiel.” Michael slurred sleepily, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. The man raised a brow at him, “where’s my coffee?”

Castiel felt his heart speed up. He quickly answered, “I left it on the kitchen counter, love. I’ll go and fetch it for you”.

Michael aimed him those unimpressed eyes, but kept a straight face. “Fine! Get it and get out! Ain’t you got a new Cap coming in today?”

_Crap! Castiel almost forgot!_

Castiel nodded, “y-yes love”. He hurriedly made his way down the stairs and grabbed the coffee, but when he turned around he gasped in shock to find Michael standing a few feet before him. The man looked cold, shaking his head at Castiel, “I can’t believe that you’re so fucking slow still!”

Castiel gulped when Michael took a step in. Castiel shivered, “Michael I-“. Before he could finish, Michael slapped the cup of scalding coffee out of Castiel’s hand- the cup splattering onto the marble floor while the hot coffee spilled unto Castiel’s torso. Castiel hissed and cried as Michael grabbed him by the jaw quite hard, “We will talk about how incapable you are becoming when I get back from work tonight. Do I make myself clear!?”

Castiel felt fear grip him. If Michael wanted to talk to him tonight, then that meant that things weren’t going to go well. He replied in an almost barely there voice, “Ok Michael.” Michael then shoved him back, allowing his lower back to smack against the edge of the kitchen counter. Castiel’s eyes were blurry with tears and pain was coursing through his body.

Castiel took a deep breath through his nostrils, swiped at the tears that escaped his eyes and bent down to start picking up the shards of glass on the floor.

Castiel was pathetic!

Dean had told him so, when he broke it off with Castiel!

_You’re nothing but a desperate, pathetic, cheating sack of shit, Castiel! You deserve nothing good in your damn life!_

Yeah, he was damn pathetic indeed.

* * *

**And coming up in the next chapter.....**

Dean stared into those blue eyes that he once loved. _No! No way did Castiel work for him!_ The deputy stuttered, “Um-h-hey Dean”.

Immediately, Dean felt anger overtake his stunned state. _What the fuck!?_ Castiel was still beautiful, but in no way he wasn’t the cheating snake that destroyed everything good between them! And Dean wasn’t going to give this man before him any special treatment. Dean folded his arms along his chest, narrowing his eyes at the now hesitant looking deputy, voice as cold as ice and barely unrecognizable to his own self as he said, “You will call me Cap or Captain Winchester! Is that understood deputy?”

Castiel felt his heart squeeze, eyes lowering to the ground in shame, again his voice almost non- existent as he replied, “Y-Yes Captain Winchester”.

Dean felt like something was off about Castiel- like he looked smaller. _No! No caring for your cheating ex Dean!_ So, he hardened his heart, spitting out a cold, “good!” Before he turned his back to Cas- definitely not going to read into the saddened eyes of his ex-boyfriend.

_Castiel had no fucken right to be sad!_

_Not even after 10 fucken years!_

Dean despised the deputy and he was going to show the man exactly that!

**TBC**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Comments and kudos are welcomed! Only constructive comments please!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean POV
> 
> I need you to brace yourselves,, because there is a point where there is a possible mention of past suicide- not detailed nor very clear...you will find out in the later chapters. Please do not read if triggered easily...

**Dean**

He parked ‘_Baby_’ outside his new workplace. **_Sioux Falls Police Department_**. Wow! He couldn’t believe that he was back here. Now, suited up in his dark blue uniform- ready to take on the role of _‘Captain’_.

A rank that took him years of hard work and determination to achieve.

His hands were clammy, his skin was on fire, and his own heart was beating a little faster than normal. He knew it had nothing to do with the job and everything to do with the fact that he was going to serve and protect the town he once swore to never come back to.

Not after Castiel. _His cheating ex!_

_Argh!_ He wasn’t going to think of that asshole. _He got out! He did it!_

With a final deep breath, he got out of the Impala and made his way over to the precinct.

Time to meet his team.

**

Deputy’s Garth Fitzgerald IV, Benny Lafitte, Lisa Braeden, Cole Trenton- were the only ones he recognized from high school. He was particularly thrilled to see his best friend Benny Lafitte- instantly going in for a hug.

Then, there were others- Deputy’s Donna Hanscum, Samandriel, Viktor Hendrickson, Meg Masters and Kevin Tran- which were new to him. Nonetheless, he was privileged to have such an amazing team.

He asked, “Are there any other police officers that are out of the precinct?”

Benny answered- looking somewhat hesitant, “Um Cap- there’s still one deputy you have yet to meet”.

“Who?”

Benny swallowed, “Um- maybe- I think it’s best that you wait for the deputy to come, then you’ll see”.

_Ok. Why did that make him feel unsettled? _

Nevertheless, he nodded. “Very well. When is he coming in?”

Benny’s eyes shifted from him to somewhere behind him- he noticed how Benny’s adam’s apple bobbed in nervousness and how the man’s eyes bugged out. _Well, now he wondered if he should turn around._

Benny clapped him one on the bicep, “Um- we’ll just leave you alone- to um- deal with- yeah”. The man gathered the other deputy’s and herded them back to their work stations. He gathered himself and turned around.

The instant his eyes landed on that man- it felt like his whole world had come to a halt.

Dean stared into those blue eyes that he once loved. _No! No way did Castiel work for him!_ The deputy stuttered, “Um-h-hey Dean”.

Immediately, Dean felt anger overtake his stunned state. _What the fuck!?_ Castiel was still beautiful, but in no way he wasn’t the cheating snake that destroyed everything good between them! And Dean wasn’t going to give this man before him any special treatment. Dean folded his arms along his chest, narrowing his eyes at the now hesitant looking deputy, voice as cold as ice and barely unrecognizable to his own self as he said, “You will call me Cap or Captain Winchester! Is that understood deputy?”

Castiel felt his heart squeeze, eyes lowering to the ground in shame, again his voice almost non- existent as he replied, “Y-Yes Captain Winchester”.

Dean felt like something was off about Castiel- like he looked smaller. _No! No caring for your cheating ex Dean!_ So, he hardened his heart, spitting out a cold, “good!” Before he turned his back to Cas- definitely not going to read into the saddened eyes of his ex-boyfriend.

_Castiel had no fucken right to be sad!_

_Not even after 10 fucken years!_

Dean despised the deputy and he was going to show the man exactly that!

**

“Cap you ok?” Benny came popping his head into his office.

He was setting up his things, a little too roughly. He blurted without sparing a glance at Benny, “I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that my cheating ex is now working under my command, Benny!”

He could hear his best friend sigh, “Dean, he is a different now”.

He felt himself bristle. He grit his teeth and turned harsh eyes at his good friend, “I don’t believe it, Benny! He has always been a liar! I know him better than anyone else!”

Benny licked his lips, “Dean, he has been through a lot. He has been punished for his deceit”.

He clenched his fists. “You’re on his side!?” _How could his best friend take the side of the man that broke his heart?_

Benny huffed, “Of course not! I just seen the whole town treat him like crap, for 10 years now. You know blamed him for their star quarterback leaving”. Benny shrugged, “Even I was pissed at him up to a point where things turned bad and um- yeah”. Benny added looking a little blankly at the desk, “I forgave him and yeah- moved on”.

He wanted to ask what Benny meant by ‘_when things turned bad’_, however, he felt like he just didn’t care. He clicked his tongue and shrugged, “Well, I can’t say I blame the town. And, good for you, that you’ve forgiven Castiel. As for me, I don’t think I ever will. He is pure dirt under my shoes!”

The look Benny gave him- filled with sadness made him feel like retracting his words_. No! No, he was the victim in this! _He was their captain and he was the one that gave the orders around here. He folded his arms along his chest, “I want you to gather all the officers into the conference room. I want to go over the allocated responsibilities for this week”.

Benny nodded, “Ok Cap”. He ignored the resigned look on Benny’s face.

_No way, no how. Cas could go screw himself, because Dean was just getting started._

* * *

** _Coming up in the next chapter….._ **

Dean’s words stung. The way Dean looked at and treated him, as if he were scum, broke his heart.

He didn’t know if he could go through anyone’s hate towards him anymore.

_He didn’t know if he could take Deans hate for him._

Things should have ended that night, all those years back. But, Benny found him. _Why?_

_Why didn’t Benny just allow it to happen?_

Save him the sorrows of the present.

**TBC**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are welcomed! 
> 
> Question: What did Benny walk in on Cas doing all those years back?.....


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More of how Cas feels...
> 
> Warnings: Mentions of past attempted suicide. Please do not read if triggered easily!!!!!

**Castiel**

The heartache he was going through, at this very moment, was indescribable. Here he was, always trying to push himself to come to work, always trying to tell himself that life would get easier and all he needed to do was hang on a little longer- but, seemed like luck was never on his side.

_Dean was here. Dean was his captain. Dean hated his guts_.

Already, three quarters of his work colleagues despised him- some for his betrayal towards Dean and others just heard what he had done and hated him from the bat. Now, he had Dean to add to the list and God knows what the Cap would put him through.

_If only Dean knew the truth, Castiel! You need to tell him!_

His inner voice never let up. Well, first of all, what happened 10 years ago will never be easy to talk about, so yeah…..he’ll see…

Benny was nice to him- at least he could count on that, however, he felt that maybe it was just because he had tried to end his life 5 years back. He felt someone touch his shoulder, “Hey Castiel, the Cap wants us all in the conference room. He wants to dispatch the responsibilities for the week”.

He glanced up to see a saddened smiling Benny Laffite, his heart already speeding up as he replied, “Ok Benny. Thanks”.

Benny nodded and said in a lightened tone, “Hang in there”. With those last words, the man walked away towards the conference room, where all the other work colleagues were headed towards.

He took a deep breath to try and settle himself before he got up and followed.

**

At first meet, it didn’t seem like it, but now, during this small staff meeting, it was clear that Dean was a professional. Though the man ignored looking at him- most of the time, Dean continued with delegating responsibilities to his fellow cops.

Most were placed out on patrol duties, some on keeping track of those prisoners under their care, some on court duties, and, some on desk duties.

No cop liked desk duties. And that included him.

But, when Dean looked at him, and allocated him with desk and report duties for the month- he all but replied calmly, “But Captain Winchester, I’ve never been on desk duty since I was a rookie 8 years back”. Yes he compiled his own reports for arrests he made, but, never spent full time in the office.

He saw the moment Dean bristled, “Are you disobeying my orders, Deputy Novak?”

He felt so small as all judgmental and unimpressed eyes were on him. He could only look down at the ground, stuttering, “N-No Cap. I-“.

“Good! Or else I’ll have you reported to the disciplinary committee. Don’t want any slackers and certainly don’t want any _unreliable_ people working for me”, Dean interrupted with unmistakable venom in his voice.

_Unreliable. _

Yeah he felt that word hit him square in the jaw. For him, Dean and whoever knew their past- it was clear that the word _‘unreliable’_ held different meanings. And it hurt like hell.

He never said another word as they were dispatched to their permitted tasks.

**

He found silence was his best friend. He had gotten used to putting his head down and doing as he was told. He felt he didn’t have a voice and that a life of punishment was all he deserved. However, he couldn’t get rid of the memory flashes of Dean shooting him eyes full of contempt.

Dean looked at him like he was something rotten.

He could feel it dig into his soul.

He could still feel Dean’s words drive a knife into his gut.

Dean’s words stung. The way Dean looked at and treated him, as if he were scum, broke his heart.

He didn’t know if he could go through anyone’s hate towards him anymore.

_He didn’t know if he could take Deans hate for him._

Things should have ended that night, all those years back. But, Benny found him. _Why?_

_Why didn’t Benny just allow it to happen?_

Save him the sorrows of the present.

As if on automatic response, his right wrist- his writing hand- started to ache. He could feel the hidden vertical scar on his wrist burn. He couldn’t hold the pen up whenever his right forearm started to pain.

He laid the pen down and began to rub at his wrist and forearm through the long sleeves of his blue uniform. His right arm was weak because he had hurt himself pretty badly, though, the doctors were able to save his arm, connect a few nerves, just enough to get him writing or using his gimp right hand for a few hours.

No strain they said.

Imagine what desk duties and report writing would do to his hand.

_Oh well. No one would care._

That pain in his arm made his heart squeeze in agony. His face would droop, he would feel his lips downturn and tears blur his eyes. It reminded him of how worthless he once was. It reminded him of why he had done what he had done.

Because no one liked him. He was alone.

And now, he felt that loneliness becoming even more significant.

Nothing pains more than finally having to witness just how much the one you truly love- hates you with all his being.

_In his sorrowful moment, he didn’t notice green eyes studying him._

_He didn’t see the worry and questions written on Dean’s face._

* * *

** _Coming up in the next chapter…._ **

Lisa Braeden.

His arch nemesis.

In high school, she always tried to get in between him and Dean. She had a slight obsession with his former lover, but Dean always gave her a good telling off and told her that he wasn’t interested. He was always happy whenever Dean would reject her.

_But now?_

It seemed like Lisa refused to waste any time and opportunity.

What he could see happening before him, shattered his heart further- if that were possible- into more pieces.

Lisa was openly flirting with the captain and Dean was flirting right back.

What was more heart wrenching was the fact that Dean was flirting before him- like the man just didn’t care.

He thought he had felt the cruelest pain- but this was even worse.

He was having his heart trampled and stomped on- _again_\- for what felt like the millionth time in these 10 years.

The worst thing about it was that he felt he deserved it.

_There was no love left in Dean’s heart for Castiel._

**TBC**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos welcomed!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Physical abuse, workplace harrassment. Mentions of suicide attempt. Please do not read if triggered easily!!!!

**Dean**

He wasn’t immune to the forces trying to pull him towards Cas. His eyes constantly diverting from his computer screen, just to sneak a glance at the blue eyed man – whose desk was quite close to his office- _just outside his door to the right as a matter of fact_. He could feel himself wanting to just _march_ over to the deputy and voice his opinions.

_Maybe, fix things too? Right Dean?_

Damnit! He hated that stupid meddlesome inner voice!

He hated that he was still drawn to Cas in some way. He hated that the man could still ruffle his feathers. He hated that he could still feel that spark igniting within him.

He sighed and thumbed the bridge of his nose. He rubbed a hand down his face and decided to get up for a good stretch. He walked around his desk only to rest his ass against the edge of the front of his mahogany desk. From here he could practically see the entire work station. He folded his arms along his chest and brought his eyes back to Cas.

It’s been five freaken hours since he assigned each officers tasks and so far, Cas has been seated at his desk for all of the five hours- not moving, not even getting up for a toilet break nor a coffee break.

Now, Deans no expert but anyone with a sound mind would say ‘_that’s not real healthy’_.

And maybe, he could feel concern for the blue eyed deputy trying to scratch its way onto the surface.

He continued to watch in silence still, furrowing his brow when he saw Cas drop his pen unto the desk, then the man started to rub and palm at his right wrist and forearm. From here, he could see the blue eyed man hiss and close his eyes in discomfort and pain.

Instinctively, he felt something was not right.

He could always tell when Cas was sad, happy, excited, worried, stressed, in pain and angry. He still found that he knew the man like the back of his hand.

And once again, he felt that something had changed. Cas looked older- sure that was expected, plus he was also frail, pale and looked like he had forgotten the importance of proper sleep. _Maybe, he should check on the guy and see if he’s ok?_

Just like that, a memory came flooding back.

Not the cheating, but the memory of a much younger, laughing Cas squirming in his arms as Dean tried to get a kiss in.

He felt tears fill his eyes, his heart squeezed at the memory. He was only trying to make his boyfriend happy that day. They were so in love. No one mattered but them. _He loved him_. And then, Cas had to break his heart.

_God, even after, he still felt that same love for the man before him._

And soon, he slowly felt that irritation and anger build within him. This was unhealthy; he needed to fucking move on.

He fucking thought he did!

Cas was his history!

He needed someone else to fill this hole in his chest- even if it’s just casual.

That’s when Lisa Braeden appeared out of nowhere. “Hey Dean”.

Through the corner of his eyes, he saw Cas sneaking glances into he and Lisa’s direction. Always trying to poke his nose around. Always trying to hold power over him. _Well, boo fucking hoo! Cas can watch him get his flirt on!_

_He has moved on!_

He did a once over of the still beautiful brunette's curvy physique, “Hey Lis. You haven’t changed a bit since high school”.

Lisa’s smile curved into something flirty. There was a heat in her eyes as she approached, “well, I do a lot of yoga to stay in shape, Dean”.

His next words felt like vomit coming out of his mouth- _strangely he wasn’t feeling it, but, hey, he had a point to prove._ He licked his lips, “must be quite bendy then?”

* * *

**Castiel**

Lisa Braeden.

His arch nemesis.

In high school, she always tried to get in between him and Dean. She had a slight obsession with his former lover, but Dean always gave her a good telling off and told her that he wasn’t interested. He was always happy whenever Dean would reject her.

_But now?_

It seemed like Lisa refused to waste any time and opportunity.

What he could see happening before him, shattered his heart further- if that were possible- into more pieces.

Lisa was openly flirting with the captain and Dean was flirting right back.

What was more heart wrenching was the fact that Dean was flirting before him- like the man just didn’t care.

He thought he had felt the cruelest pain- but this was even worse.

He was having his heart trampled and stomped on- _again_\- for what felt like the millionth time in these 10 years.

The worst thing about it was that he felt he deserved it.

_There was no love left in Dean’s heart for Castiel_

* * *

**Dean POV continued….**

_“Must be quite bendy then?”_

Lisa smirked, “Oh you have no idea”. She dragged her bottom lip between her teeth, “If you want, I can show you just how bendy I can be?”

Ok maybe he was a little turned on by her hot words- but thank heavens he could control himself. A boner at work wouldn’t paint a nice image, even if he were trying to get Cas to see that he had moved on. His voice was slightly thick as he said, “well, maybe I’ll take you up on that offer soon”.

Lisa winked, “I’ll be waiting Cap”. With that she sauntered away, her perfect ass looking quite hot in those cop pants. _Maybe, he’d tap that._

_Maybe, Dean? Still undecided I see!_

He growled internally and scolded that internal voice, “Oh shut up!”

His eyes once again found Cas desk, heart dropping when he saw the man’s seat empty. _Where did Cas go?_

_Why do you care!?_

He walked out the office and headed to the reception, “Hey Charlie, you seen Castiel? Um- I mean Deputy Novak?”

Charlie nodded, her eyes holding weariness. In the short time he had gotten to know her, he picked up that she wasn’t her usual bubbly self. She nodded towards the entrance of the building, “He um- his boyfriend came looking for him and um- kinda demanded he see him, so Castiel obliged”.

_Cas had a boyfriend?_ He tried to push down how much that stung. _No not happening!_ He focused more on Charlie’s nonverbal cues.

She had averted his eyes while she answered.

Now that was suspicious.

His brows drew together, “Charlie what are you not telling me?”

The red head gnawed at her bottom lip, “Um- Castiel-um his boyfriend isn’t so friendly. Whenever, Michael pays Castiel a visit, the deputy almost always returns with wet eyes”. She shrugged, “I really don’t know what that is all about”.

He stopped hearing her the second she mentioned ‘wet eyes’. He found his feet already carrying him towards the entrance. Though he had his- _differences_\- with Cas, that didn’t mean he would stand by and watch someone hurt the man.

He was the captain of this Police Department. And he’d be damned if any of his officers were harassed in any way.

_Not under his fucking watch!_

* * *

** _Coming up in the next chapter…._ **

Michael clamped an iron fist around his right weak wrist. The pain shooting up his right arm was unbearable, hence he released a wounded cry, voice frail and trembling, “Michael please. You’re hurting me. Let go!” He tried tugging but failed.

His boyfriend, fisted his wrist tighter, chuckling sadistically at the mewl he released. The man sneered into his face, shaking his scarred wrist, “Maybe you should have cut deeper Cas! You would save everyone a hell of a lot of grief if you hadn’t lived!”

He choked on his own pain and tears. Maybe Michael was right._ He would’ve saved everyone a whole lot of grief._

He wanted to say, ‘_you’re right Michael’_ when a booming, very pissed off, familiar gruff voice broke through his thoughts.

“Hey! You let him the fuck go! NOW!”

_Dean?_

His eyes immediately fell unto Dean- whose fists were clenched into his sides, a hand itching to pull out his gun.

A man whose green eyed iron clad expression could burn a hole through anyone’s skull- _at this very moment._

He felt Michael release his wrist- feeling the bruising throb- which got him rubbing at his right wrist again.

Then Dean’s steely voice ordered, “Cas get over here!”

**TBC**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feed me with your comments and kudos please. Inspire me!!!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, if you will notice once at the end of this chapter, I haven't written any preview into the next chapter. I have decided to carry on keeping it a mystery as to what will happen next ;D Maybe, you can play the guessing game...:)
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Physical abuse and harassment. References to past suicide attempt. Please do not read if triggered easily!!!! Fair warning!!!!

**Castiel**

Michael was standing outside the police department- looking all pissed. _Oh God, what had he done now to warrant a visit by his boyfriend? _There was no explanation nor warning- Michael immediately grabbed hold of his right wrist, squeezing tight and on the side of painful.

“You are a piece of work, y’know!”

_What the hell was the man talking about?_

He felt fear grip him, “U-um what do you mean, Michael? W-What have I done?” _Yeah because when Michael was pissed, it was totally his fault._

“M-Michael I-I don’t understand”, he stuttered trying to pry his wrist out of his boyfriends tight grip.

Michael spat out in his face, “You broke my mother’s gift to me and decided to hide it!” Michael sneered, “You thought I wouldn’t find out Castiel!”

_Oh crap! Michael was talking about his favorite plate!_ Two years ago, Michael’s mom had gifted the man a beautiful golden-flowery like plate and the very next day she had passed away from a heart attack. Michael had cherished his mother’s gift. Somehow, he was putting away the dishes a few days back and the plate happened to slip out of his grasp- falling onto the floor and shattering into many pieces.

He was so scared that he quickly cleaned it up and emptied the shards into the bin. Since the plate was hardly used by Michael, he hoped that the man wouldn’t find out. But, how long could he keep that up? Now that a pissed Michael was here- he would say _not very long_.

“I-I’m sorry Michael! I w-was so scared to t-tell you”.

Michael was clearly enjoying his pain and fear. He could read it loud and clear in the man’s spiteful eyes. In fact, the more pain he was in, the happier Michael would feel. _Powerful._

Michael clamped an iron fist around his right weak wrist. The pain shooting up his right arm was unbearable, hence he released a wounded cry, voice frail and weak “Michael please. You’re hurting me! Let go!” He tried tugging but failed.

His boyfriend, fisted his arm tighter, chuckling sadistically at the mewl he released. The man sneered into his face, shaking his scarred wrist, “Maybe you should have cut deeper Cas! You would save everyone a hell of a lot of grief if you hadn’t lived!”

He choked on his own pain and tears. Maybe Michael was right._ He would’ve saved everyone a whole lot of grief._

He wanted to say, ‘_you’re right Michael’_ when a booming, very pissed off, familiar gruff voice broke through his thoughts.

“Hey! You let him the fuck go! NOW!”

_Dean?_

His eyes immediately fell unto Dean- whose fists were clenched into his sides, a hand itching to pull out his gun.

A man whose green eyed iron clad expression could burn a hole through anyone’s skull.

He felt Michael release his wrist- feeling the bruising throb- which got him rubbing at his right wrist again.

Then Dean’s steely voice ordered, “Cas get over here!”

Still he found himself rooted to the spot.

Just as Dean’s order came through, Benny’s squad car made a stop by the sidewalk. Immediately, Officer Lafitte and his partner Cole Trenton stepped out with hands on their guns. Benny’s eyes travelled back and forth between him and Michael before meeting the Cap’s, voice laced with concern as he asked, “Everything ok, Cap?”

Without hesitation, Dean ordered, “Arrest this man!”

Michael bellowed, “For what!? I did as you asked!” Then Michael threw him eyes of contempt, “Say something, Castiel! Don’t just stand there looking like the same old worthless shit you’ve always been!”

His boyfriend was currently being cuffed by Benny while reading the man his Miranda rights.

Again he couldn’t find his voice, however, embarrassment began to take a hold of him. He could feel judgmental eyes burn his very skin. But, then again, before he could say anything, Dean stepped up into Michael’s face, “Listen here, you sack of useless shit! No one threatens or harasses my officers and gets away with it. You threaten a cop; you’re immediately in breach of the law!” With finality, Dean ordered, “Get this wretched piece of shit out of my sight!”

Again, he still couldn’t move an inch. He just watched a now weary Michael get escorted away by officers Benny and Cole. His mind was running wild. _What is he going to do now? What will Dean say? _Maybe he will be disciplined for bringing personal crap into his workplace.

His mind was still reeling with depressive questions and thoughts when Dean said, in a less harsh tone than he spoke Michael- though there was an underlying tightness in the man’s voice, “Deputy Novak! I want you in my office in 5 minutes! We need to talk!”

Then, Dean was stalking back into the police department. Meanwhile, he was scared shitless now. _Oh God! What if he lost his job? What would Dean ask him? What should he say? Would Dean think him weak if the truth came out? Would Dean look at him in disgust?_

He knew he couldn’t run.

Not anymore.

And that thought scared him immensely.

Nevertheless, it was time to face the music.

It was his turn to get a good ass telling off from Dean Winchester.

And that made his heart ache, because in the end of the day, he knew no one would love him. He knew no one would understand. He knew Michael was always going to be right.

He was worthless. He was useless.

And that’s exactly how Dean would see him.

He wiped at his teary eyes, took a deep breath and headed back into the building.

_Ready to get his heart stomped on- as usual._

**TBC**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are welcomed!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What gets revealed?

**Dean**

He was pacing in his office.

He was bristling. He was so enraged. He was filled with contempt. He wanted to _punch_ this Michael. There was also this feeling brewing within him that something was missing- that there was more he did not understand.

He wasn’t blind nor deaf.

What was happening before him was a clear-cut indication of an abusive relationship. A man trying to exert power and domination over another. _But what he didn’t get was why did Cas allow this to proceed? _

The other troubling thing that piqued his curiosity was the horrible words Michael spewed out. _Of how Cas should’ve cut deeper?_ Those words honestly filled him up with dread. _What had happened? Did it mean what it meant? Did Cas try to end his life once?_

He wanted answers and he was going to get them.

He came too when a soft knock on the door sounded. His heart squeezed when he was faced with a hesitant and weary eyed Castiel. The man couldn’t meet his eyes directly- and it was honestly…upsetting.

He cleared his throat, hoping it would cover up for the waver in his tone, “Um. Come in Deputy”.

Castiel entered and remained standing just a meter from where he stood. Castiel’s voice was barely there as the man said, “You wanted to see me Cap?”

Dean leaned his ass against his desks edge, folding his arms along his chest and nodded towards the empty leathered two seater sofa just by the door, “Have a seat”.

Castiel did as he was told.

He watched how the man kept rubbing his hands together and eyeing the floor beneath his feet. From here as he looked on, he was able to assess Castiel’s form- seeing how thin the man was- how tired. He rubbed a hand down his face before he grabbed an empty chair and situated it opposite the sofa, taking a seat in it.

He let a few seconds pass, before he asked calmly, “Ca- Um- Deputy. Tell me what happened out there”.

The tiredness reflecting out of those blue lifeless orbs made him want to just pull the man into his arms and shield him from the rest of the world. It also made him more persistent to find out _what the hell was going on? _This was not the same Cas he knew- 10 years ago. Then again, he had to keep in mind that time and experiences changes people.

_What experiences?_

Castiel answered, “Um- I apologize that you had to see that Dean- Um Cap”.

“Please don’t apologize Deputy. That man- Michael- your boyfriend- he should be the one apologizing. He shouldn’t have did what he did”. He found that fire wanting to consume him when he thought of the asshole who hurt Cas. He probed, “Has Michael been like this? Abusive?”

Castiel’s eyes found his own fiddling fingers, shrugging, “Um yeah. It’s been going on for some time now?”

Now, he had half a mind to march over to Michael’s cell and give the man a good old fashioned ass whooping. He kept his cool and asked, “How long is _some time_?”

“Dean- um- Cap, please don’t pretend like you care. I will talk to him- Michael and I will sort this out”, Castiel uttered with his eyes still on the floor.

Well. That was a slap to the face. And maybe he deserved it, but damnit he was worried for Castiel. He grit his teeth, trying to reign in his temper, “Cas, you know about the cycle of violence. You can’t just keep forgiving him, every single time he hurts you! I know that you still feel pain- and that can happen from old or fresh wounds that haven’t healed proper!” He pointed towards Cas right hand, “Like the one on your right hand. I saw you flinch in pain when he gripped you there. He can’t continue to hurt you like this!” Hell, he didn’t care that he called the man by his nickname; he just wanted the message to get through.

Castiel rubbed at his right wrist- the second he had mentioned it. This time, Castiel eyed him with steely blue- spiteful eyes. The man sneered and spat out with a voice full of venom, almost sounding defensive and disgusted, “Michael didn’t hurt my wrist! I DID!”

He was stunned silent, watching Castiel’s eyes finally fill up with tears- realization of what he had said slowly sinking in. His own heart started to beat rapidly at the implication of Castiel’s words. Fear was trying to claw its way onto the surface. His voice shook as he asked, “Cas, did you hurt yourself?”

Castiel abruptly stood up, wiping his sweaty palms down his pants, the man sniffled and blurted a rushed, “Um- I need to go home! I um- I just need some time alone”.

Yeah, all of his red flags were up. His own mind was riding on overdrive. Though he had so many questions that needed answering, his top priority now was ensuring his officers safety- in this case Castiel’s own safety- most probably from himself. He stood up and got in Castiel’s way, “No! I’m not letting you leave when you’re in such a vulnerable state, Cas!”

“Dean please?” Castiel pleaded trying to get past him, but he still wouldn’t budge. Castiel was exceptionally weak which is another surprising thing- _seeing as the man used to outsmart and out-power him when they were together._

“No Cas!” He sighed, “Just, sit down, please”.

A few tears creeped down Castiel’s cheek and he itched to wipe at it. He thought that Cas would just push on further, but the man deflated and sat back down, burying his face into the palms of his hands. Castiel emotionally muttered into the palms of his hands, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I was in the wrong place at the wrong time”.

He wanted to reach out and touch the man’s thigh, but thought better of it- seeing as it might cross some borders. He settled for clasping his hands together, trying to keep his own emotions in check as he asked, “What are you talking about, Cas?”

Castiel pulled his face out of hiding, to peer at him with watery, reddened eyes. “I- Lucifer”.

His blood instantly boiled at the mention of that assholes name. He really didn’t want to start throwing insults at Cas. He didn’t want to upset the man further than he already was. He just kept silent, not meeting the man’s eyes. It still hurt him to think of what Cas and Lucifer did. _It was hurtful to think of Cas cheating on him. Still raw._

Castiel sniffled, “If only you knew the truth of what really happened that night, 10 years ago”.

His head shot up, eyes instantly searching that depressed face. He couldn’t help it. He knew what had happened that night, 10 years ago, but there was something to the way Castiel said those words that made him feel that he was missing something,

“What the hell are you talking about, Cas?”

**TBC**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: *Evil smile* Apologies for the cliffhanger....
> 
> Comments and kudos are welcomed!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel POV....Dun, Dun, Dun.....what happen's?
> 
> Warning: References to past rape, attempted suicide. Please do not read if triggered easily!
> 
> Oh and another character finds his way back home? Who is it?

**Castiel**

This was the second most terrifying moment he has ever experienced in his entire existence. The first was when he let Dean slip through his fingers, 10 years ago. And, with all this additional emotions swirling inside him- _sadness, guilt, shame, embarrassment, disgust_\- he had half a mind to admit to Dean what really happened on the night of his 18th birthday.

He didn’t know if he could re-live that horrendous moment his self-respect and dignity flew out the window. _But, there was no running away now_. Not after he had _somehow_ let the cat out of the bag. He had always been good at bottling up how he felt, but, not with Dean. _Never with Dean._

The man had a way of just getting him to blurt out whatever was happening within him, without really saying much. It was one of the reasons why he felt they were so good together. He felt a tear slide down his cheek. _Yeah not anymore_.

Dean’s words echoed through his mind.

_What the hell are you talking about, Cas?_

He felt his hands tremble, his blurry vision catching Dean’s searching- curious look_. He’d do this and walk away. _Enough carrying this secret- _that not even Michael knew_\- within him. He couldn’t do it anymore, now that Dean was sitting before him. His walls were crashing down and there was nothing he could do about it. He sucked in a deep breath, licking his dry lips and saying in a barely there voice, “I didn’t cheat on you, Dean”.

Suddenly, everything was pin drop silent- not even the sound of breathing was heard. But then, as the silence drew into one minute, his increasing heartbeat is heard drumming against his ears. He couldn’t even bring himself to look Dean in the eye after his admission- _for fear of disappointment_.

Just as he thought Dean would up and walk away- _like he had 10 years ago_\- the man replied tiredly, “Cas, let’s not get into this, please”.

And just like that- _through God knows how_\- irritation flooded him. _He was tired of everyone. He was tired of people just pushing everything aside. He was tired of people not listening. He was tired of all the mockery. _Through his heartache, and because of his ignited anger, he found himself trembling out, “No Dean! You’re not listening! Why are you not listening!?”

“Cas! Why do you always have to push, huh!?” There was a bite in Dean’s tone accompanied with an unimpressed look, “Just drop it ok! Or have you forgotten that I saw what had happened between you and Lucifer, ten fucking years ago!”

He retorted, “What you THOUGHT you saw!”

“What the fuck does that mean, Cas!?”

He had finally felt his pent up rage of 10 years consume him. He immediately stood up and spat out with much venom in his voice, “THAT I WAS BEING RAPED BY LUCIFER, DEAN! THAT I HAD NO CONTROL AND THAT WHEN I SAW YOU COME INTO THE ROOM, I THOUGHT YOU WOULD REALIZE AND DO SOMETHING!” He felt his tears finally come tumbling out like that of a waterfall, whilst his heart squeezed with so much pain. His own voice losing its heat, lifeless and watery as he said, “But you never did make a move. You just- walked out- and that gave Lucifer the power to finish what he was doing to me. And, I couldn’t scream anymore, because I had nothing left in me to give- my strength and willpower walked out the door thinking I had cheated on him”. He rubbed at his chest as if to soothe his aching heart, “After the incident, I couldn’t explain myself to you because I was in shock. All I could do was hear you yell at me, see you look at me with unspeakable betrayal in your eyes and watch you walk out that door, never to return”. He sniffled, eyes meeting the floor, “And I believed it was my fault because everyone in this town made me feel that it was- every single day, until I couldn’t take it anymore….but then, Benny found me and saved me”.

He was going to go on- like his brain to mouth filter had suddenly become dysfunctional- that is until he heard Dean’s thick-broken sounding, “Cas”.

That’s when he finally focused properly on Dean. The man’s completely pale, horrified and teary eyed expression almost knocked him off his feet. The man’s hands and lips were trembling- almost seemingly childlike while continuing to remain frozen still on his seat. _Oh God. He knew this look. Dean was in shock._

And that made him realize what he had truly admitted. Everything- _not in detail_\- but the truth. Fear instantly grappled him. He could feel himself beginning to fold back into his worthless self. _Oh God! What has he done? What will Dean think of him now? _He felt his feet already taking him backwards, until he felt strong arms clasp his shoulders from behind. Then a familiar voice- though a little heavier- he hadn’t heard for more than 12 years now said, “Calm down Cassie. I got you little bro”.

He turned around and gasped when he saw who was standing there, smiling at him. He swallowed and shakily stated, “G-Gabe.” Without much thought he immediately fell into his brother’s arms, pushing his face into the man’s shoulders, weeping, “I thought I’d never see you again”.

Gabe’s own voice was shaky with emotion as he replied, holding him tight, “I’m sorry Cas. I should have kept in touch with you after leaving for college. But…mom-“.

_Oh he knew about Gabe and their mom’s big fight on Gabe’s last day of senior year. Naomi always picked on Gabe because she felt burdened that she had to care of her deceased husbands (their dad’s) son from another. He also knew that his half-brother Gabe left angry and never to be heard of again. He wondered what happened to his big brother throughout this 12 years, but that was a story for another time._

He pulled out of the hug just in time to notice Benny slip past him, heading straight for a still unmoving, eerily silent Dean whose eyes were focused on the sofa he was sitting on. The man appeared to be in another headspace, not even realizing what was happening around them. And yeah, it did fill him up with worry. He wanted to check in on Dean when his arm was tugged back. He shot Gabe an annoyed look, “Gabe let me go”.

Gabe had on a pleading look, “Cas. I heard everything you just told Dean a few minutes back. And from both your reactions, I would say, you both need some time apart to process things”.

He glanced into Dean’s direction- meeting Benny’s eyes. Officer Lafitte, who was seated on the sofa nodded at him, “its ok, Castiel. I’ll alert his brother Sam and in the meantime, keep an eye on him”.

_Of course. Sam had probably flown in to celebrate his brother’s promotion_. Nevertheless, It felt so hard to leave Dean speechless and in an oblivious state, but, he knew if he tried to force communication with Dean, then things might get ugly. They both needed time. He glanced at Gabe, unconsciously rubbing at his wrist, “Can I stay with you tonight?”

Gabe smiled softly, “Of course, Castiel. The pent house suite I’ve booked into for two weeks would be boring to live in- all on my lonesome”.

He still felt numb, but managed to say, “Ok Gabe”. _Besides they had a lot to catch up on. _

Gabe gave Officer Lafitte a nod, “Thanks for finding me, Benny”.

_Huh?_

_Benny finding Gabe? Why? How?_

“No problem Gabriel. You take care of that kid brother of yours, you here”.

Gabe nodded and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. Before he could leave the office, he spared one last look at Dean who now had his face buried into the palms of his hands- the man’s shoulders were shaking.

_Dean was crying_.

And he felt that tear slide down his cheeks, because yes, he felt the man’s pain and he wanted more than anything to hold him- though he has been through so much.

_He wasn’t immune; not his heart nor his soul._

**TBC**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are welcomed! Keep them coming!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, Dean POV....what happens???
> 
> And Benny is one hell of a guy...you'll see...
> 
> Warning: Mentions of past rape, past suicide attempt...DO NOT READ IF TRIGGERED EASILY!!!!

**Dean**

He had momentarily blanked out after Cas’s heart-wrenching confession. But not before feeling that punch to the gut- completely knocking the wind out of him. Soon, the commonly experienced repetitive memory of that night where he walked in on Cas and Lucifer came reeling back in. But, this time, instead of seeing Cas enjoying sex; he was seeing the terror and discomfort on Cas face. _The cry for help._

But then, something horrible happened. He had turned his back on his pleading boyfriend and stomped off- wrathful and prepared to end things for good.

And yes, he did end things and left his shaken, sobbing boyfriend behind.

_Oh God!_ He felt that hurt and pain completely consume him as he began to realize the enormity of what he had done. _He was the betrayer of their relationship_. As a result his sweet Cas was bludgeoned by townsfolk for something he didn’t do, hurt by many including him, left to feel immense sorrow and loneliness and finally too tired that the blue eyed beauty decided that _not being her_e was the better option. _Death_.

_Oh God!_ He was the catalyst to everything.....he had hurt Cas instead of protecting him like he always promised he would do. He had failed and let the worst happen to his sweet blue eyed angel.

That’s when he became overwhelmed with distraught emotions that he all but buried his face into the palms of his hands and completely let loose- letting out muffled sobs. His heart ached with tremendous pain and turmoil. 

_How could he be a leader when he had done something so wretched? So inhumane? So heartless?_

He didn’t know how long he cried. His thoughts was just occupied with memories of Cas- smiling happily at him- and that in itself made his heart ache further.

He only came to when he slowly registered the careful touch of a calloused palm on his left bicep and the familiar sound of Benny's Louisiana Cajun accented voice.

“Cher. You need to breathe.”

At this point in time, numbness was the only thing he could feel gripping at his entire body. He unburied his face from his tear drenched palms, feeling the cool air hit his completely tear stricken eyes and cheeks.

He sucked in light breaths as he found Benny's blue eyes through his slightly blurry vision. He already felt that Cas was gone- heck he may have heard Benny telling Cas that he would handle things and that he should go._ He just had nothing left to say or give so he stayed numb and mum._

He found his voice scratched raw as he spoke, “Benny. I’m a bad person. I let Lucifer hurt Cas”.

Benny never smiled. The man just squeezed his bicep lightly, “Cher. I heard everything Cas had admitted. Lucifer committed an act that was beyond forgivable and of his own choice. You, as I have known you throughout highschool, were a young, hopelessly in love, easily tempered, naive and proud teen with no lid on his emotions and level of maturity”. Benny shrugged, “And I’m not the one to point fingers here. I wished that Cas never had to go through what he had, I wish Lucifer hadn’t been a sick scumbag and forced himself on Cas, I wished that you had realized what was really happening and given that asshole a good old fashioned ass whooping to within an inch of his life. Truly Cher. I wished this all had happened, but, it didn't....and now that the painful truth is out there and knowing that the past cannot be undone...you need to ask yourself the ‘_what now_’ question".

He heard Benny. _Loud and clear._ But still, he couldn’t help but take responsibility. He admitted quietly, “I will still blame myself, Benny".

“Of course you will Cher. You feel immense guilt and self loathing as a result of your actions 10 years back. That desperation to change the past will come flooding in. And that’s what a decent human would feel once the truth comes pouring out”. Benny added, “And I know, underneath all this tough guy exterior, you’re a still good person Dean. You are still genuine and I know that if given the opportunity, you will immediately come to Cas aid”. Benny sighed, “Dean it doesn’t mean you can't fix what is broken”.

“But Cas is completely broken, Benny". He swiped at the tear in his eye. “Fuck I feel like I want to just- disappear”.

“I know Cas is broken Dean, however, I am talking about making peace with the bond between you both". Benny shook his head, “Dean if you care about Cas, then you can't run from your problems. You need to face them head on”.

“I don't know if I can face him again, Benny”.

Benny dropped his hand that had a grip on his bicep, eyes looking stern and voice carrying seriousness, “You can't run away from him again Dean! You will break his soul completely, plus, you might just feel shitty!” His good friend added, “You need to take some time and think about what you truly want, Dean. And, I’m not saying to get back into a relationship with him. I’m saying that you owe him at least a decent conversation, of course when you are both ready. You also need to fix things. So what are you going to do Captain?”

_Benny was right_. He couldn’t just up and leave. Most importantly, he needed to make the town aware that Cas did nothing wrong and to bring Lucifer down for the crimes committed against Cas. _Not to mention, Michael had to also get his just desserts for hurting Cas_. Plus, there was also the hardest task of getting Cas to agree to a talk- he didn’t have any expectations- he just wanted to apologize.

He nodded and decided, “Firstly, I will get to work in righting the wrong of others unto Cas”. _He needed to remove the stain on Cas name._

Benny smirked, “That’s a great start Cap! I’ll definitely land you a hand there!”

He smiled through his sadness, feeling somewhat inspired, “Thanks Benny. You’ve been a great friend, not just to me, but to Cas too".

Benny clapped him one on the bicep, “You’re good Cap. Take it easy".

Just then the familiar voice that could only belong his baby brother sounded “Dean. Benny. Everything ok?”

He suddenly felt emotional when staring at his baby brother- who he had last seen 3 months ago. Seeing Sam always pulled at his heartstrings and made him want to let out everything that has happened. _And he will, because he never hid anything from Sam._ With teary eyes he got up and walked towards his brother, going in for one of their hugs. Through a shaky voice, he greeted, “Hey Sammy”.

Sammy hugged back, softly letting out a slightly trembling reply, “Hey Dean. I’m here big bro".

_Nothing ever felt more comforting right now._

**TBC**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please keep the comments and kudos coming!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel and Gabriel do a little catching up...

**Castiel**

Every once in a while, he would chance a glance at his big brother- who was currently immersed in his driving. Right hand clutching the steering wheel, left hand rested on the left thigh with fingers drumming _one by one _atop jeans. His brother’s eyes narrowed, brows slightly furrowed and bottom lip being chewed at intermittently.

Curiosity getting the best of him, he asked, “what’s going through your mind right now, Gabe?”

Gabriel snapped out of his thoughts, eyes lighting up and blinking back and forth between the road ahead and he. Undoubtedly, there was a questionable uncomfortableness laced with irritability in that brown eyed gaze. His big brother shrugged, “I’m just pissed at myself, Cassie”. Gabe sighed along with shaking his head, “I should have come back and taken you away from this horrid place and maybe, I could have ended your suffering. I’m the worst big brother, ever!” Gabe’s voice shook towards the end.

Though Gabe’s entire attention was back on the road, he could still see the tears pooling in those eyes from where he sat. And honestly, seeing his brother feeling emotional made his heart squeeze, for like the 100th time today. He was torn as to what he should say, maybe he did need his brother- _well he really did all those years of suffering_ and maybe, he was just thankful for this moment- _for Gabe finally coming home and being here during one of the most trying times of his life. _He reached his left hand out to squeeze at his brother’s left arm, “I’m just glad you’re here, now, Gabe. And, when we reach the pent house, you can tell me everything- how Benny got a hold of you, and what you’ve been up to all these 12 years”.

Gabriel threw in a wink and barely there smile, “Ok Cassie poo. I guess I owe you that much”.

_That childhood nickname made him smile for the first time today._

**

They were both nursing a hot cup of chamomile tea, both seated on the comfortable brown leathered sofa in the living room space of Gabe’s cozy penthouse suite. He was two sips in, humming in content at the soothing taste, when Gabe decided to speak up.

“Benny has a lot of connections. One of his connections happened to be his long distance girlfriend, Andrea Kormos. Coincidently, she has been working for me for 1 month now. According to her, my name came up in a phone conversation with Benny”. Gabe ran his index finger along the edge of the cup, “Benny became very persistent and requested if Andrea could get me to call him, as soon as possible”.

“And what made you consider calling Benny?”

Gabe licked his lips, eyeing him with fully fledged sadness in those orbs. “When he told her to let me know that it was about my brother, Castiel Novak”. Gabe sniffled, “He said that you were on a downward spiral or in his exact words ‘_Castiel is in deep trouble and needs his big brother’_”.

“So, why did it take this long for you to get here, seeing as you were alerted a full month ahead?”

Gabe sighed, laying his cup on the coffee table. His big brother clasped his hands together, and answered, “Because it took me one month to find someone trustworthy to take care of my establishment before I could get on a plane and make my way here”.

_Hmm. Interesting._

He asked, head tilted to the side, “So, what’s this establishment and where have you been residing all this time?”

“It’s in San Francisco, California. It’s my very own pastry and coffee shop!”

Gabe looked excited sharing the last bit of information. And yes, he did feel proud of his big brother’s accomplishments. He released a genuine smile, “I’m glad everything worked out well for you, Gabe”.

That response wiped the cheer right off Gabe’s face. His big brother hung his head in shame, “I should have been there for you, Castiel. Yes, things worked out for me, nevertheless, there’s still a lot I could have done to protect my baby brother. I was a coward. A selfish bastard”. He met his blue, equally watery eyes, “Forgive me, Castiel?”

_No. He would not let his big brother feel this way, no matter what he has been through._

He laid his cup next to Gabe’s on the coffee table, immediately clasping Gabe’s hands in his. He didn’t care if the tears rolled down his cheeks. He smiled shakily, voice filled with so much emotion as he said, “Gabe, I do not want you to blame yourself for anything. EVER. You are allowed to go live and build your life wherever and however you want. We are both adults here, living the life we have chosen to live. Nothing wrong with that. Though, I missed you, so badly, I was still happy for you. I would have still wanted you to break free from the clutches of this town and made a name for yourself. And you did. And I’m so proud of you big brother”.

Gabe barely smiled, squeezing his hand back, “But I should have come back for you, Cas. I could have.”

“And I could have made the choice to leave this town of my own accord, Gabe”. He felt this deep seated heaviness in his heart, “No one held me back. I could have chosen to leave, but I didn’t. And that’s on me, because in the end of the day, I am still an adult, capable of making my own decisions and having the free will to do so”.

Gabe nodded and they just stayed there, processing each and every word in their little reconciliation. But then, Gabe cleared his throat and looked at him apologetically. _His brother was probably about to pop out an overly sensitive question_. “Um- Castiel, why didn’t you leave Sioux Falls?”

That was a question he always asked himself every single day, from the moment Dean left him. _Why didn’t he leave when people began mocking him? Why didn’t he tell himself ‘fuck everyone and everything! I’m outta here!’ Why didn’t he leave Michael? Why? _And there was only one answer he truly had. He felt more tears well up in his eyes, his heart thudding in sadness as he whispered, “Because I held on to hope that he would always come back to me. That Dean would learn to love me again, like I’ll always love him”.

“Oh Cassie”, Gabe pulled him into a hug, holding him snug and close.

He allowed himself to finally think about everything that happened today. He allowed his tears to crawl down his cheeks like that of a waterfall, soaking up his brother’s shirt. He hugged his brother back, needing the comfort because it hurt so freaken much to think of how Dean probably despised him, now more than ever. He sniffled out, “Today was a mess, Gabe. Dean will never love me like I do him. Never again”. He buried his face into Gabe’s shoulders and finally wept.

“Let it out little brother”.

He choked out into Gabe’s shoulder through his cries, “Gabe don’t l-leave m-me again, p-p-please”.

Gabe only held him close, rubbing a palm up and down his back. “Never again little brother. You got me”.

**TBC**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are welcomed!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And I'm back with a new chapter. Thank you to all my lovely readers who have constantly showed me support and have been patient with this fic ❤ 
> 
> Warning: Dean drinks as coping! Emotional Dean.

**Dean**

_Miles of perfect, unblemished skin. His lovers physique was that of a teens- slim and lean. That ruffled unruly dark sex hair was perfect and long enough to tug at. That mesmerizing sexy back called out to be worshiped. Those perfect dimples on the base of the blue eyed beauty's back made him want to dip his tongue into it._

_He snaked his hands down the beautiful back of his very naked sleeping boyfriend until it came to grasp at the sheets covering that perfect ass- ripping it away in one fluid move. He quietly climbed atop his sleeping boyfriend and pressed his hard member between the crack of that sexy ass, while ravishing his boyfriends shoulder blades, top of spine and neck with hungry licks and kisses. _

_His heart skipping several beats as his lover underneath him began to stir. Then, that ass pressed back into his groin, legs spreading further apart so his cock could be sandwiched properly between his lovers crack. He licked at his lovers earlobe, sliding his cock sensually up and down between that addictive space. He hummed into his lovers ear, “Like that baby?” _

_Then his lover turned his head to the side, enough to show him how fully blown those blue eyes were and how turned on his lover was to his foreplay. His blue eyed angel was now panting, his words thick and lust filled as be replied, “I love it. Now fuck me hard and right Dean Winchester"._

_He had never moaned so loudly before when he finally entered Cas, feeling those delicious well lubricated walls close tight around his cock. He gave Castiel what he wanted- too much that they were both gone- not caring how loud they were moaning. _

_And when he finally came, it was hard, deep and long- knocking the wind out of him._

His eyes shot open into a blackened room, his back bowed hard, he was fisting the sheets so tight as his balls throbbed and his cock twitched its release into his boxers- moaning so loud and hard into the darkness that surrounded him. 

He didn’t calm until at least 10 minutes had passed. _Fuck!_ He wiped a hand down his sweat drenched face. _What was that?_ He had just had a wet dream- about a past sexual experience with his lover during their teens. 

Yeah he remembered that particular sexual encounter- they were only 17, sneaking into each others beds whenever their parents were asleep, just so they could have on and off sex till the sun came up. On that particular day, he came with the words ‘_I love you Cas'._ He had never had that dream for quite a long time now. 

_Fuck! Here he goes again with having dreams of he and Cas._ He sat up on his bed, back against the headboard. He reached down to grasp the waistline of his boxer shorts, carefully pulling it off, before using the dry part of his soiled boxers to clean the cum off his groin and softened cock. He ended up throwing the boxers, God knows where, unto the floor.

Then he just- sat- there, staring at his dark and lonely room.

His eyes were a little raw and wet but no tears were building up nor falling. _He had cried enough today- to the brink of exhaustion_. He had fallen asleep feeling lethargic, numb and empty. Cas recent revelations had taken its toll on him. He couldn’t help but feel that churning of self loathing and guilt when his mind drifted off to Cas distraught face as he yelled out the words _‘I was raped!’_

He suddenly slammed his fist on the mattress, “Fuck!” He spat out into his empty dark room, “You’re a fucking asshole Dean Winchester! Way to protect your fucking boyfriend!” He pressed fingers into the bridge of his nose, taking comfort in the pressure applied there, murmuring, “I need a damn drink”.

He sighed and got out bed and made his way to the kitchen- _he almost felt like his feet weren't touching the ground._ He needed to feel the comforting burn of liquor as it travelled down his throat. _Maybe something stronger than a chilled beer._

So, he made his way over to the living room instead, directly to the liquor cabinet he had just stacked full of bourbon, whiskey and rum. _Yeah, he really didn’t plan on consuming any of them- they were gifts from people that he'd rather keep on display._ But right now, he needed something to numb his feelings and thoughts- temporarily.

He reached for the cabinet doors, pulling them open quite harshly. He let his eyes roam the different bottles filled with amber liquid. _Maybe, just a classic JD whiskey would do_. He reached for the bottle neck and removed it from the cabinet, not even bothering to shut the cabinet door as he made his way to the kitchen. 

_He definitely did not see a now half awake Sam, seated up on the sofa, staring at him confusedly and with growing worry. _

He reached for the tumbler in the cupboard above the stove. He immediately unlidded the bottle of Jack and poured his tumbler full- _almost overflowing._

He didn’t waste a single second and downed half the contents in the tumbler with one huge gulp. He squeezed his eyes shut at the burn that travelled down his oesophagus all the way to his stomach- making it feel warm. “Mmm. Damn that’s good". He was then downing the rest of the amber liquid in one gulp, once more, before pouring more into the tumbler.

“Dean. Do you think that’s wise? Its 4 in the morning and you’ve got work tomorrow". Sam decided to speak from the kitchen entrance.

He was slightly buzzed but not enough to get Castiel off his mind. He placed the bottle down unto the kitchen counter, lifting his loaded glass up, “Cheers Sammy!” Then he was drowning the contents once more- this time till he finished it all. He felt his world stir lightly, the grip of his unoccupied hand on the kitchen counters edge kept him stable. Once the slight imbalance had gone, he made a reach for the bottle, only to find it wasn’t there. His eyes immediately shot over to Sam, who was now standing on the other side of the kitchen counter, holding the bottle to his tummy. His words were slightly slurred as he said, “Sam. Give me the damn bottle man".

“No Dean! You don't drink on work days and certainly not like this! You need to talk to me and tell me what’s bothering you instead of drinking everything away. This is the past you, not now you!” Sam said firmly, eyes were like that of a kicked puppy's – _so caring, so soft, so persuasive. _

He gripped the kitchen counters edge with both his hands, squeezing hard as he lowered his eyes to the granite surface. He closed his eyes briefly and felt his eyes swell with tears. He felt his whole tummy swirl in unpleasantness and hurt. His own voice thick with emotion as he confessed, “I can’t stop thinking about him Sammy. The pain, the hurt, Lucifer raping him and me walking away, the suffering he's been through. I could have stopped this! If only I had stowed my fucking crap and fought for him!" He shook his head as he felt tears finally drip down his cheeks, “I let him down Sammy. It’s my fault. All of this!” His voice broke further as he added a weak, "Lucifer too".

He couldn’t look at his brother because he felt too ashamed too. He was a reckless hot headed teen even through to his adulthood. _Fuck! Some role model he was!_ He didn’t even register his brother setting the bottle of Jack down on the kitchen counter and making his way over to his side until he felt his little brothers hand rest gently on his shoulder, squeezing lightly and saying in one of his tender tones, “Dean. What Lucifer did to Castiel was not your fault! NEVER EVER BLAME YOURSELF FOR THAT! You were hurt, you were blinded by rage, and you never saw clearly. And you know what Dean, that’s ok, because it’s only human to not think clearly at times- it's called shock! There were many emotions and thoughts swirling through you that day. And you couldn’t deal. Not everyone can! I’m not going to blame you for Lucifer, Dean. I’m not going to judge you for walking away too. We all make mistakes- heck we've made mistakes in the past that we cannot undo. The best thing we can do is focus on the present and what we can do NOW”. He still felt down, but he heard Sam loud and clear. He finally met his brothers equally wet eyes seeing the care, comfort and concern little Sammy always gave out. 

He could only nod. He had no words.

_But that was ok. _

**TBC**


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy the chapter...let me know what you think 🙂

**Castiel**

He felt a little hesitant to get up for his 8am shift. The thought of seeing Dean again was not very pleasing. Yet, he willed enough confidence and empowerment to get his ass up and remind himself that he had a job to do.

_Saving people. Catching criminals. Keeping law and order._

Though he was frowned upon by a few locals- he still managed to swallow their hurtful words and continue to be the best cop he could be. He met only a handful of nice people in town, but, they never really lingered on and got back to their lives with a parting smile.

Gabriel walked in on him having a cup of coffee in the well furnished kitchen. 

His brother-_who was dressed in a grayish robe-_ looked like he had been through a hurricane, with the way his hair was disheveled and not forgetting that zombie aura- trudging and mumbling incoherently all the way to the coffee machine. Gabe poured himself some coffee and brought the cup to his lip, taking one massive gulp. Instantly his big brother moaned in absolute delight, suddenly bright eyed. Gabe took another huge gulp and tilted his head at him in confusion, “Cassie, are you going to work?”

He could hear the concern behind his brothers voice. He replied, “yes Gabe. I have decided that I can’t let whatever happened between Dean and I affect my job. I need to keep doing what I love. I can’t let him take that away from me too”.

Gabe eyed him skeptically. There was a hint of disapproval hiding behind Gabe’s brown eyes, but, it instantly vanished and his big brother was back to his chirpy self. He watched his brother place his empty cup in the sink and clapped his hands together, “Ok! Then, I’m coming to work with you today!”

He sighed at his brother’s over protective move. “Gabe there’s no need. I’ll be fine”.

Gabe shook his head, “It’s either that, or you don’t go to work Cassie”. The shorter man pointed out, “And don’t think I can’t get you to not go, Cassie! I have my ways!”

Well. He knew his brother was very deceivingly creative and would ensure his threat was carried out, hence, he gave in and huffed out, “fine!” He warned, “But Gabe. No trouble! I mean it!” 

Gabe smirked, eyes holding mischief as he replied, “Of course baby brother. No trouble. I promise”.

_This was going to be a very bad idea._

**

He never really looked his workmates longer than a few seconds in the eye. He replied to their greetings and kept walking ahead with his brother on his tail. _Christ why did his desk have to be just outside Dean’s office! _

_He just needed to breathe!_ He murmured to himself, “you’ll be fine, Castiel”.

He grabbed Gabriel by the bicep, pulling his brother down, to take a seat beside him- _one normally reserved for captives he brought in for questioning._ He said, “stay here and remain quiet, Gabe”.

As suddenly as he said that, Gabe sat up straight in his seat, staring at someone/something behind him, blurting, “well, well. Good morning Captain Winchester! May I say you look like crap!”

_Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Dean had probably just arrived!_ He refused to follow Gabe’s unimpressed gaze. He swallowed, feeling like his heart was trying to burrow out of his rib cage. He felt suddenly stiff, exposed and unable to move- as if he were in a spotlight. _Maybe coming to work wasn’t really a good idea._ He sucked in a breath when Dean replied in an unfamiliar drained and scratchy voice, “Gabriel... What are you doing here?”

The warning look he shot Gabe, was completely ignored. His brother crossed an ankle above his knee, leaning back on his chair, smirking and shrugging, “Oh well. I’m just here to look out for my brother, much like that tall drink of water beside you, is here to look out for you”.

_What?_

He was itching to turn and catch a glimpse of Dean and judging from whom Gabe described- Sam. But he didn’t. He could only keep his eyes on Gabe- who still had his eyes on Dean and Sam. He heard Dean release a loud sigh, “I can take care of myself, Gabe. Sam was just about to leave”.

“Dean!” 

“No Sammy! I told you that I’m fine. So, go have…whatever.. it is you have in the mornings for breakfast!”

It was suddenly quiet. But, then, just as he thought that Dean and Sam had walked away, Sam spoke up sounding a little petulant. “Fine! But Gabriel comes with me! It’s only fair!”

Dean grumbled- which honestly made Castiel feel like laughing (because yes, Dean’s grumpiness and grumbling always made him want to burst out laughing- it was adorable). But, yeah, his sadness followed. He was actually fearful and dreading what will happen if Gabe left him alone with Dean. _But, he needed to keep strong right_. Without much thought, he found himself speaking up for the first time since this conversation happened, “you should go, Gabe. You need your energy. I’ll be fine”.

Gabe finally met his gaze. He was sure his brother could pick up on his nervousness and anxiety. Gabe laid a hand on his, squeezing lightly, “Are you sure Cassie Poo?” _There was affection in Gabe’s tone._

His heart only grew larger for his brother. He squeezed his brothers hand in return. His voice trembled lightly, “It’s ok Gabe. I’ll be here when you return”.

Gabe nodded and got up, laying a peck on top of his head. He couldn’t help but smile at his brothers affection- somehow feeling safe. This time, he had the strength the face Dean, getting up put of his chair. What he saw shocked him silent. Dean looked worn out, with bags under his eyes- and definitely avoiding eye contact.

Somehow, his heart ached seeing Dean like this. He had to pull his eyes away to meet Sam’s hazel eyed gaze. He uttered, “hello Sam”.

Sam smiled sadly at him, “hello Castiel”.

Dean rubbed a hand down his face and clapped a hand on his brothers shoulder. Dean’s eyes met his briefly, nodding and uttering, “Cas”. Before the man was walking into his office without a glance back. 

That ached a little, but was expected.

Sam looked a little red as he said, “Um- should we- um go have some breakfast, Gabe?”

Gabe wrapped an arm around his shoulder, “Yup Sammy boy! Let’s. After all, we have a lot to talk about concerning our brothers”.

Oh crap! He could hear the underlying _take no shit_ tone. He whispered a little on the stern side, “Gabe!"

Gabriel ignored him….again. The man laid a final peck on his cheek and winked at a now worried looking Sam. _Sam probably knew what was coming._ Yet, the tall man followed his big brother out the station. 

Once out of eyeshot. He went back to sitting down- not wanting to spare a glance into Dean’s office for fear of being caught by the captain. While he typed in his report, he couldn’t help but feel eyes staring at him. Still, he wasn’t going to look into the office. He took a deep breath and continued from where he left off yesterday, filling in reports. 

He hoped his brother behaved.

And, he hoped Dean wouldn’t call him over for a chat.

_Not right now, please._

**TBC**


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy the next chapter!😊

Dean decided that he wouldn't just sit on his ass. Cas would think that he didn’t care. _If the man only knew the truth._ He gripped the edge of his desk as his heart rate sped up a little, taking deep and calming breaths. All the time, his eyes were fixated on the back of Castiel’s head- wondering if the man was settled. Probably not and trying to fake it, much like he was.

No. Dean needed to at least start from somewhere. Somewhere whereby he could get Cas to stay and talk instead of run off. Which the man had every right to do anyways. _Heck he wouldn’t even want to spend time with himself._ He knew that everything he did that night- when Lucifer raped Cas & he walked away- had a ripple effect. Sam may have tried to shift the self loathing and blame off Dean with his use of words- which his little brother was damn good at- but, deep within he knew that whatever transpired in Cas life after, was because of him not taking a stand for his boyfriend when he needed him the most. Dean was the catalyst, igniting Cas journey of tormenting, hurt and pain. So yes, he couldn’t wait any longer.

Benny walked into his best friends office, frowning at his friend- who had the palms of his hands flattened on the surface of the desk and just sitting there looking deep in thought. He became even more worried when he saw the bags under the mans eyes. He commented, “looks like you had a rough night Cap”.

Dean immediately snapped out of his thoughts, eyes instantly meeting his good friend/work colleague, Benny Lafitte. He saw the man had on a curious look- raised brow and all. The man probably wanted to know why he looked like absolute crap this morning. He sighed and rubbed a hand down his face, deciding to ignore Benny’s comment and ask, “Can I help you with something, Deputy Lafitte?”

_Oh ok! Dean was all boss right now. Uh! The man would speak when he’s ready to._ He didn’t push and instead replied, “I was thinking I take one of the rookies with me out into the field. You know, get them to see what real criminals and crimes we tackle out there”. He shrugged, “plus, it’ll be a good time to bond”.

It was like a lightbulb went off. _Of course, Benny has just unwillingly or unknowingly found him a solution. _He immediately stood up, hooking on his badge onto belt and his gun into holster, in front of a frowning Benny. He walked over to Benny, palm out and saying, “Give me your squad car keys, Benny”.

_What the hell._ Nevertheless, Benny handed the keys over to Dean, relaying, “Um so which squad car do I use today, Cap? I’m pretty sure all are being utilized”.

Dean shook his head, “You’re in charge for the hours I’m out of office today, Lafitte. Use my office, do your work and give orders. We will debrief when I get back. I will be filling in for your assignments on the field today and I’ll be having Deputy Novak as an accompanying officer”.

_Oh crap!_ Benny out of worry asked, “Are you sure that’s a good idea, Cap? I mean- after what happened yesterday?” He finally saw Dean’s Captain mask slip, the man finally looking at him with so much pain and restlessness.

“I have to talk to him, Benny. Privately”.

Benny trusted Dean to be alone with Cas. That much he knew. _His gut feelings were always right_. And what better way than to slowly mend through such things- like conversations and communication is highly important. He nodded and clapped the captain on the bicep, this time playing the best friend role, “ok Dean. But, if he doesn’t want to talk or go, then please don’t force him”.

Benny was right. Dean responded, “Ok Benny”.

**

Castiel was typing away on the keyboard, as if his fingers had a mind of its own- whereas his upstairs brain wasn’t all there- every once in a while, Dean’s face pops up, plus, a recollection of their fallout yesterday, his ex lovers baggy eyes and lack of communication this morning. All plagued his mind. And it honestly made him itch to get up and stomp into Dean’s office, just to demand answers. _Something! Anything! _Yes he was slightly fearful, but he wanted to give it a shot nonetheless. 

There came a point where Castiel stopped typing and was just staring at the computer screen- blankly. He saw the words, but was frozen still. It was like he was stuck in a trance, but that immediately dissipated when Dean’s familiar gruff tone was heard so close to his desk. He nearly jumped out of his seat as Dean said, “Deputy Novak, you’re on patrol duty with me”.

_What! _

Castiel instantly met Dean’s green eyes. There was a question in those eyes. It didn’t seem like an order from the captain- well it didn’t feel like it. Dean didn’t say anything further. Well, it felt like he had the last say. _So, what was it going to be Castiel? Yes or no?_ He had waited so long to tell Dean everything- and that happened last night. So now, time and opportunity felt precious. He had to face up to the man someday- better sooner than later. He had wasted enough time hiding from his own demons. So, with all his willpower and courage, he replied quite lowly, “Ok Cap. I’ll meet you at the carpark in ten”.

Dean was holding his breath. Really if Cas had said No, then he wasn’t going to push the man. He blew his breath through his nostrils when Cas finally agreed. He honestly felt a little excitement bubbling within him, but was mostly masked by the nervousness. _Shit! Man the fuck up, Dean!_ He responded, “ok deputy”. He made his way past Cas, giving the man the space he needed. 

As Dean sat in the squad car, watching Castiel approach, he wondered if this decision to patrol together was the right thing to do. _Oh boy! _

_Only one way to find out._

**

**Lady Bug Café**

Gabe eyed Sam’s green smoothie with contempt. All that healthy made him feel all icky. He silently cringed as he watched Sam take a huge gulp of his smoothie . The man didn’t even flinch, and instead sighed in contentment. As if he were having the worlds most delightful drink. He couldn’t help but state, “how in the world do you start your day with a smoothie”.

Sam raised a brow at the obviously unimpressed Gabe. He shrugged, “It’s a much more healthier option, as opposed to coffee”. 

Gabe gasped, pulling his cup of flat white into him, replying, “How dare you mock the worlds most heavenly elixir. There would be no world peace, if there was no coffee”.

Sam rolled his eyes at Gabe’s overly dramatic reply, throwing in a little annoyedly, “You’re just like Dean”.

“Well one tick for him on my list”. Gabriel took a sip of his coffee whilst Sam lowered his gaze briefly to the cup of smoothie clasped in his hands. It was a few seconds before the hazel eyed man glanced up to meet Gabe’s eyes with a hint of sadness in them. “Gabe. I know Dean. My brother feels extremely guilty for hurting Cas all those years back”.

Gabe replied forwardly, “well he should be, Sammy. After all, he had shattered my brother the night he decided to walk out on him. The night he decided to put his own anger first and left my brother to Lucifer. The night he decided to leave my brother without talking things through. His assumptions and his disloyalty destroyed my brothers life”.

Sam could see the fire in Gabe’s eyes, further burning brighter as the man spoke. Gabe was somewhat true. Somewhat. He defended, “Gabe, Dean was young. Only a teen. He made mistakes. At some point in teenage-hood, everyone does”.

Gabe shrugged nonchalantly, “All I know is that he should have stuck by my little brother, Sammy”. He leaned in and said, “frankly, I don’t care for yours or his excuses”.

“Gabe, whatever happened, has happened. We can’t turn back time. Dean can’t turn back time! Believe me, my brother wishes he could have a do- over”.

Gabe folded his arms along his chest, eyes narrowed at Sam. “Really?”

There was this sarcasm that Sam didn’t really like in Gabe’s tone. Nevertheless, he replied, “yes. Really”.

Gabe nodded, “Hmm”. He then tilted his head, this time his tone was evidently sarcastic as he asked, “So, answer me this, Sammy. If my brother hadn’t confessed about being raped by Lucifer, do you think Dean would still be treating him like shit right now?” He growled lightly, “because I feel that if Dean hadn’t known about the horror Cas had experienced, then he would still think that the man had betrayed him all those years back and would have continued making his life a living hell”.

Sam really didn’t know what to make of that. Gabe was right in some way. _Dean was a hot head, but with Cas- something was always different._ He once again defended his brother and responded, “Gabe. Even if Cas didn’t tell Dean, I believe my brother would have found it impossible to stay mad and vengeful at Cas. The man, underneath his entire heavy heart, still loved Cas. Even after they broke it off, it messed with him so bad”.

Gabe replied, “THEY didn’t break it off, Sam. DEAN did. And, if he really loved Cas, he would have returned after his temper had cooled and at least attempted to work through things. Instead, he ran and never returned”. He sighed and took a deep breath, “Look Sam. Honestly, I can still see how much they love each other. But, there’s so much to get through. Cas had been seriously hurt and the man is an empty shell of who he once was. I love my brother, very much. And if he wishes to mend things with Dean, then I will respect that. However, I want Dean to prove himself first. I want Dean to be sure that whatever he is doing isn’t just for pity’s sake”. He added, “I want nothing more than my baby brother to be happy, but I’d be damned if I’m gonna just stand on the sidelines and watch, hoping that things will turn out fine. So, you tell your big brother that he better be damn sure what he wants, lest he wants to face my wrath. Be damn sure!” With that, Gabe took his last sip of coffee, grabbed his paper bag of croissants and got up. This time, he stowed his anger and slipped on an alluring tone, throwing in a wink and slipping a piece of paper towards Sam, “Now, as for you Sammy, there ain’t gotta be no bad blood between us. So, call me when you want to go out for dinner sometime”. 

Sam was left sitting with his jaw dropped. _What the hell had just happened?_ He watched silently as Gabe walked out of the café without a glance back at him. He swallowed and finally glanced down at the piece of paper in his hand. It clearly had scribbled digits on it. _Gabe’s number._ He couldn’t help but feel his smile grow on his face while his heart raced. He was hooked. 

Hooked onto the overly protective, take no crap and feisty Gabriel Novak.

No one had ever whooped Sam’s ass good and given Sam their number after. 

_Yeah. Sam was sold._

**TBC.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the late one my lovelies!
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter!🙂

Castiel sat quietly. This atmosphere seemed too tense for his liking. _Why had he agreed to be Dean’s partner for the day_. Now, he was stuck with the man in a squad car. No conversations. Just awkward tenseness and avoidance. _Now that couldn’t be good._

Dean knew that he had to make the first move. He requested Castiel be here, after all. So, after several minutes of focusing on the drive, he cleared his throat and asked, “Um- how are you- um doing today, Um- Deputy Novak?” _He was itching to use the deputies nickname, but thought better of it._

Castiel glanced at Dean, meeting the side of the man’s face. The captain seemed to still avoid him by focusing on his driving- _which was maybe for the best._ He fiddled with his fingers, “Um- I’m ok”. Yeah, that was an obvious lie.

Dean licked his lips, seeing a parking space up front, by the sidewalk next to the park. He knew that they couldn’t do this back and forth awkward conversations. He wanted to speak with Cas, so he needed to do this properly. He slowed the car down and parked it. He could feel that everything was much more tense, now that they both had nothing much to occupy themselves with. So, he took in a deep breath, manned up and finally faced Cas. He was met with glassy blue orbs, the skepticism and anxiety evident in Cas facial expression. He released a sigh, “Cas, we need to talk”.

Castiel’s heart always skipped a beat when Dean called him ‘_Cas_’. It somewhat made him feel seen and appreciated. Didn’t mean he wasn’t terrified to the bone. He was barely containing his agitation and fear of what might come out of the Captains mouth. He pressed down on his uncomfortableness and replied, “yeah I know Dean”.

Dean nodded. He rubbed a hand down his face, “Cas, I know that this might not mean much, but, I’d like to say ‘I’m sorry’ for everything”. He huffed a not so hilarious chuckle, “I was an ass back in high school and I’m still an ass today. You deserved much more”.

Castiel uttered, “I should have reached out to you and told you what really happened, Dean”.

Dean couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He immediately corrected, “No Cas! In no way should you be going the extra mile to try and reach out to my stubborn ass. I should have swallowed my ignorant pride, trusted my gut instinct and come back to you, groveling and begging for your forgiveness”. Tears began to pool in Dean’s eyes.

It was silent for a whole minute, just thinking of everything. 

Castiel finally glanced at Dean once more. What he saw broke his heart. Dean was a man who normally contained his emotions well- even going to the extreme to hide it, but, this Dean he was looking at, was an open book. The mans face was much older, much more strained, much more vulnerable. The slight tremble on the mans lips, the tears in his eyes was a result of immense guilt. 

Dean wasn’t even looking at him, but at the car parked in front of them. But, Cas could still see. He could still see how raw Dean was. And it gutted him, because like the time he was a teen, he was still very much in love with Dean Winchester. _So, so in love with the man_. He found himself reaching out a hand and laying it on Deans one that was rested atop the man’s lap. The tiny gasp and the instant attention from Dean, made his own heart thrum. He smiled shakily, his tears pooling in his eyes, “Dean, I care about you a lot. And I forgive you”.

Dean squeezed Cas soft warm hand lightly, stating in a thick voice, “you shouldn’t Cas. I’m a monster. I’m an asshole. I let Lucifer in, I allowed him to hurt you. All because I was pissed and believed you had cheated. What kind of lover was I? A piss poor crap one, that’s for sure”.

Castiel was tired. Honestly. He was just tired of everything. He didn’t want the most harshest, heartbreaking moment of his life to keep coming between Dean and he. He was truly fed up. All he wanted was to move forward. He won’t let Lucifer’s cruelty consume his life any longer. He won’t let the heartbreak between Dean and he, hinder anything good that could come his way. He won’t let a few peoples words or criticisms bring him down. He uttered shakily, “10 years Dean. 10 freakin years, I allowed everything to consume me. I’m not going to allow it anymore. Yes, there were things that were done wrong in the past, I’m sure both of us have regretted. But, we need to move on. At least for a peace of mind”.

“I don’t think I’ll ever forget what I did, Cas”.

“We will never forget Dean. Those were pivotal, big, scary moments in our lives. I just revealed the most hurtful secret I have been carrying with me, yesterday, to you. That ain’t something that can just disappear. You will definitely be feeling it and it’s only normal. But, I’m done. I don’t want to hold on. You also need to find a way to help yourself deal with what you now know, Dean. We can’t let it destroy us”. Castiel nodded, “So please, find your footing”.

Dean shook his head, feeling frustrated at his own jackass self. _He didn’t deserve any of Cas forgiveness_. He huffed, looking at the car parked ahead, muttering, “you shouldn’t still care for me, Cas. I don’t deserve your attention nor your inspiring words”.

Castiel tugged at Dean’s hand, voice a little firmer and feeling much more bold, “Look at me, Dean Winchester!”

Dean felt that voice enter him like a strike of lightening. He immediately turned his attention to Castiel. He swallowed a gulp, at the set jaw and piercing blue gaze he was met with. Castiel looked very serious and determined right now. _Yup, he was amazed….and a little terrified._

_Good_. Now that Castiel had the Captains attention, it was time to set things straight. “From now on, we will find ways to get through whatever we have to get through. From now on, we treat each other with respect. From now on, we be the best we can be as working colleagues. From now on, we will look at each other as friends”. He took in a breath to settle himself, much more calmly stating, “I decide who I want to forgive Dean. ME! And I say, I’m done holding anything against anyone. Now, I want you to carry on living. I want to carry on living”.

Dean nodded, feeling his heart skip beats. Cas still cared so much for him. And, he knew he did too for Cas.. He replied, “Ok, Cas. I do want you to have the best life you can have. I also want you to keep smiling and be as happy as you can be. I agree to your terms”. He licked his lips and glanced down at their clasped hands still rested on his lap. He missed Cas hands in his. He thumbed lightly at Cas index finger, “I gotta ask. Is there a chance this could become more?” He quickly glanced back up at Cas blue orbs, adding, “Not that I’m forcing you. Not that I deserve it. Just, curious is all”.

Castiel really didn’t know where things would head between he and Dean. He still loved Dean a lot, but he also couldn’t rush into anything. So, he replied as honestly as he could, threading his fingers into Dean’s, “I don’t know, Dean. If, down the road, this friendship is meant to blossom into something more, then maybe. But, if it doesn’t, that’s something we gotta accept and just keep moving ahead as friends. Right now, being friends and colleagues is the best choice for both of us”.

Dean smiled at Cas, “Alright Cas. That’s fine by me. Thank you”. He had to ask the nagging question though, “Cas can I ask you one more thing?”

“Yeah Dean?”

“What about your current boyfriend, Michael? I’m worried for you”.

Castiel meant what he said about being tired and wanting to move forward with a clean slate and conscience. He replied, “I’m ending my relationship with him, Dean. I deserve better”.

Dean couldn’t agree more. He was proud of Cas for stepping up. He squeezed Cas hand and finally said, “Yes you do deserve better Cas”. _Better than him too. And he wished Cas all the best. Truly. He did._

**TBC**


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’ll discover something surprising in this chapter....
> 
> Let me know what you think 🤔

Dean wasn’t going to let Cas go and collect his stuff from Michael’s place, alone. _Not when he knew how violent Michael was_. Cas safety was his topmost priority now- not because he wanted to get in Cas’s good graces, but due to the fact that it was his responsibility to ensure the safety of his staff. He had accepted Cas friendship proposal and now it was time to be there for his friend.

This time, Dean, Benny and Garth escorted Cas to his apartment in a squad car, despite Cas objections.

Benny shrugged, “Sorry Cher, but if we’re not going then you’re not going”.

Dean whipped out an agreeing ‘_Yup!_’ Before getting into the drivers side of the squad car. Castiel sighed and rode shotgun. A part of Cas really didn’t want Dean and his workmates seeing the ugly side of his life, but deep within he was sort of relieved that he had people who were going to keep him safe.

And he tried to smile through his nervousness, as they drove to he and Michael’s apartment. _Who in the hell was he trying to fool?_

**

Michael couldn’t believe the bitch. _How dare Cas brings cops to their apartment!_ And what made his blood boil even further was the sight of the Captain that practically threw him in a cell a days ago. He had to spend a night in that dump of a police precinct. He folded his arms along his chest, blocking the front door and staring his trembling boyfriend down, “You will not enter, Castiel! Not unless your BOYFRIEND and his posse are gone!"

Castiel felt shivers run through his whole being. That look that Michael gave was the same one he would get before he got a horrid beating. He felt himself stepping closer to Dean’s side, instantly feeling calmness fill him up when he felt his Captains press of palm on his mid back. He blew out a breath through his nostrils and said, “I’m here to pack my things, Michael. I pay half the lease to this place, so you can’t stop me from entering. Dean and the guys are here as per my invitation, as my guests”.

Dean shoved past Michael, eyeing him down as he passed. “Move!”

Michael stepped back, trying to contain his anger. He realized that there was nothing he could do to Castiel as the cops were eyeing him like a hawk. All he could do was watch Cas pack his things. _That little bitch is going to pay!_ He grabbed Castiel by the elbow just as the man was about to leave, making the blue eyed man shoot fearful eyes at him. He heard Dean bark ‘_Hey!_’ , so he quickly whispered something that would leave his ex trembling and scarred for life. “I should have raped you like my brother did, Castiel. I’m sure Lucifer would be pleased to hear about you!” He smiled coldly as Castiel’s eyes widened in fear. _Good_. He released his ex’s arm, just before Dean got to the man. He winked at Castiel, “see ya around, baby”.

Dean wanted to punch that smirk off Michael’s face. _How dare he manhandle Cas before him?_ Cas looked almost as white as a sheet. _What had Michael said to Cas?_ He was making a beeline for the culprit, when Castiel held a palm to his chest, trembling out a shaky, “Don’t Dean! He’s not worth it!”

Michael’s smug smile grew further, throwing Dean a two fingered salute, “Sayonara Cap!”

Dean narrowed his eyes at the smug bastard, “you stay away from Cas, Michael or you’ll be sorry”. With that he escorted Castiel out the door. He murmured, “Are you ok, Cas?”

Castiel felt tears pool in his eyes but kept on walking with his duffle in hand. He lied, “yes Dean, I’m ok. Nothing I couldn’t’ve handled”.

Yeah, with all the years Dean had known Cas, he somehow felt the blue eyed mans answer to be a lie. Still, he won’t push. It’s up to Cas if he wishes to talk or not. _Regardless, he’d always be around._

**

Dean was worried for Cas. The man was real quietly, staring blankly out the passenger side car window. His eyes met Benny’s through the rear view mirror, seeing the similar question in the cops eyes. Dean caught how Cas lap was bouncing restlessly, fingers clenched on the mans fabric of his blue pants. He cleared his throat, focusing on the drive ahead and steadily saying, “that was very brave of you to stand up to Michael, Cas”. He caught how the blue eyed man flinched at Michael’s name. _God he wanted to strangle Michael or throw him into the deepest part of the sea._

It was quiet for a few more seconds before Castiel responded, “I was only able to do what I had to because you were all there, so thank you”.

Dean could hear the break in Cas voice. He was nagging to ask but he wasn’t going to. _It wasn’t his place to._ He nodded, “Nah. I don’t think we deserve all the credit Cas. You made the decision to face Michael, and we were there to support you. So all in all, it’s all you, Cas”.

Benny added, “yeah. And we’re glad to help out a friend, Castiel”.

It was at the tip of Castiel’s tongue. Cas just wanted to throw everything out there- just to lift this fear off his chest. The revelation and terror of finding out that Michael’s brother was Lucifer. **Lucifer that raped him**. _Did Lucifer know about him? Heck, did Michael tell Lucifer about him? Did Lucifer reveal everything to Michael? Well, how else would Michael know about the rape, right? Great! Just great!_ He thought everything was coming together and now he had the threat of Michael and possibly Lucifer to mull over. He took a deep breath and decided that he would talk to Gabe first- right now, his brother was the one he trusted the most.

And so, the rest of the drive to Cas new apartment was quiet. _Everyone in their own world._

**

Lucifer was laying in a hot tub, surrounding by the naked bodies of at least 5 beautiful young women, who had barely made it past their 18th birthday. _What can he say! He had a thing for young, innocent little things._ They would do anything for a man with a mansion, exquisite cars and a heavy wallet. _Uh! He was living the life! _

Lucifer was 100% ok with these fine beauties using him as their toy. As long as he got pleasure out of their practice runs. And damn were they getting better and better the more they practiced. Practice equals sex- more and more sex, anywhere and anytime in the mansion. Currently, he was enjoying the feel of Alicia’s tight pussy encased around his hard cock, riding him wildly like she was in heat. Then there was Candy and Kitty having a make out and fingering session just by the hot tubs edge. He enjoyed the show while two other girls were on either sides of him, devouring his neck like they were hungry vampires. 

Ms. Faye rolled her eyes at the same everyday scene of Lucifer and his little teen bitches. She click clacked her way towards the hot tub with cordless phone in hand. She shoved the phone in front of a moaning Lucifer’s face. “Your brother, Michael is on the line”.

Lucifer’s eyes shot open- all sensations of pleasure flew out the window. He shoved Alicia off and the other girls aside, snatching the phone from his secretary’s hand. He brought the phone to his ear, voice snarky as he said, “well hello little brother. And to what do I owe this impromptu call?”

“Castiel dumped me!”

Lucifer barked a laugh. “Of course the slut did”. He then asked amusedly, “but you didn’t just call to tell me that the guy we both fucked just dumped you, right?”

The line went quiet for a while before Michael said in an eerily cold voice, “I need something from you”.

Lucifer raised a brow, “what?”

“Do you still have that present you bought me last Christmas?”

The corner of Lucifer’s lip cocked into a sly smile, “Of course I do baby bro. I took the liberty of loading it up for you too”.

Michael answered darkly, “good, because I’ll be needing it soon”.

**TBC**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, I have decided that the next chapter will be the last chapter for this part of the series (YES I’M TURNING IT INTO A SERIES😁)
> 
> Apologies for the suspense in this chapter. Guess we can all see that Michael may be up to something horrid.....


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue
> 
> Warning: Blood, gunshot, gunshot injury. Please do not read if triggered easily!

**Epilogue**

_It happened so fast._ Castiel was responding to a 911 burglary call, in one of the neighborhoods downtown, and next, he was laying on the ground, bleeding from a gunshot wound to his chest. Castiel heard the frantic voice of his partner for the day, Benny, yelling out into his police radio, “Officer down! I need an EMT and police backup at 101 Crescent Avenue NOW! This is a possible sniper attack! I repeat, this is a possible sniper attack!”

Castiel’s vision was blurry as he found it hard to breath. There was no pain, just this weird heat in his chest and the feel of his uniform around his chest and upper back area soaking up in something wet. _Oh God! This was it! He was going to die today, bleeding and helpless on the ground._ He felt a tear roll out the corners of his eyes, as his brain fired out the fact that he’d never get to tell Dean just how much he still loved him. He could feel his eyelids drooping, as blackness started closing up his blurred vision. He could feel the press of Benny’s palm on his chest wound, calling out urgently, “Castiel! Please stay with me buddy! Help is on its way! Hey Castiel! Deputy Novak, PLEASE STAY WITH ME!” 

The last thing Castiel heard was the sounds of EMT and Police Sirens, before blackness finally claimed him.

**

Dean was completely out of it. Never in his life has he ever felt this terrified. All he could do was hope and trust that the doctors could save the man who still held his heart- whilst holding his breath. 

In the waiting room sat Dean, Gabe, Sam, an unkempt and slightly blood stained Benny, plus a few of the officers who worked alongside Cas in the precinct. _Everyone was there for each other_. Even Gabe had jumped in Benny, then , Dean’s arms. The short blonde haired man delivered wrecked sobs into Dean’s shoulder, whispering words of ‘_who could hurt my Cassie, Dean?’_

Dean found himself hugging Gabe back. His own tears ran down his cheeks. His whole being was trying to contain that mixture of fear, anger and hope. He met Benny’s reddened, teary eyes over Gabe shoulder, and found himself replying a torn, “I don’t know who did this Gabe. But, God help that person when I find out who the hell he/she is”.

Gabe pulled out of the hug, wiping at his tears and taking a deep breath, “Ok Dean. I trust you will bring this person to justice”.

Or bury this persons corpse somewhere no one can find. Dean knew this was a slippery slope he was standing on. His entire being wanted to kill this person. The only thing that reminded him to keep calm and let the law handle this person once caught, was his badge and uniform. He pat Gabe lightly on the bicep, smiling through his sadness, “We already have a special team working on catching Cas possible hitman. We already have a few people in mind”.

That was good enough for Gabe. The short blonde haired man nodded at Dean before making a beeline for Sam. Gabe sat in the unoccupied seat beside Sam’s and leaned in to the man’s side for support, which came immediately, as Sam wrapped a big arms around his shoulder, pulling him further into his massive chest. Sam laid a kiss on Gabe’s forehead and murmured, “He’ll pull through this, Gabe. Cas has always been a fighter”.

Dean mentally prayed to whatever God was out there. _Please save Cas. He deserves so much more._

A brunette man in a white coat came walking through the doors of the waiting room, calling out, “Captain Winchester! We have some news on Castiel Novaks surgery”.

**

Castiel was definitely in heaven. He woke up in a peach room, on a soft mattress belonging to a massive king sized bed. The pillows were so feathery soft and he felt like he was floating on clouds. _Awkward_. He felt so light and so…bare. _Why did he feel so….exposed?_ He glanced down to see that he was sleeping bare chested, and when lifting up the white sheet that was pulled up to cover his waist, he found that he was naked down there- just like the day he was born. 

Castiel was just getting himself to sit up, when an arm wrapped itself around his middle, pulling him back down, flat on his back, into the mattress. A very naked, firm, warm body was plastered into his side, the feel of a half hard manhood was pressed into his thigh, while the burn of a two day old stubble left pleasant burns along his clean shaven cheek. Hot air was blown into his neck by lips that were pressed just into his Adam’s apple. Then, a familiar gruff voice murmured into the skin of his neck, “Mmm. Baby don’t go”.

Castiel didn’t want to move an inch, nor turn his head to the side, to catch the face of the man he knew that voice belonged to. But, then again he was never strong enough to control his urges. He tilted his head to the side and was met with Dean’s sandy blonde hairs in his nose and lips. _Apple shampoo_. Deans hair smelled like green apples. His heart swell. And maybe, he felt like living in this moment- he didn’t want this dream to disappear. So, he carefully ran his fingers along the forearm of Dean’s arm wrapped securely around his chest, laying a gentle kiss onto the top of the man’s head. He murmured, “Good morning, Dean”.

Dean lifted his head, with eyes half closed, responded, “Good morning, baby”.

Castiel chuckled fondly at how adorable Dean looked with his hair sticking out in all directions, his freckles standing out, his eyes half dazed and his lips in a full on pout. He leaned in and planted a soft kiss on Dean’s pout, earning a sneaky bite and pull of his bottom lip into Dean’s mouth. Both moaned into the kiss, angling their heads to get a little more tongue action. Cas body was now hot for Dean, and soon driven to the brink of craziness when he found himself pinned down into the mattress by his lovers heavy weight, with Dean grinding his hardened cock into his. 

It was like a never ending need for pleasure. He definitely loved this heaven. And that firm globes being squeezed in his hands felt _oh so good_ enough to bite. He kissed back even harder, working his own grinds to match Dean’s, scratching down the man’s sexy back and tearing a moan out of Dean, followed by a, “Oh Cas! I need you. Please Cas!”

** _Please Cas, come back to me. _ **

_Huh?_ Castiel furrowed his brow up at the white ceiling. His eyes were closing from time to time as Dean’s ruts became a little on the side of erratic, just like his. Mmm, he’ll just lay back and enjoy this hot frotting session. Then, he heard it again. **_Cas baby. Please come back to me. I need you._**

And suddenly, all that pleasure vanished. Everything around him slowly disappeared until darkness surrounded him. Then, he heard the most terrible of sounds. _A gunshot_. He clasped his chest, tilting his head down and seeing it bleeding through his police uniform. _What was happening? _

** _Cas baby. Come back to me. Please I need you._ **

He found himself saying, “Dean”. And that’s when darkness finally claimed him once more.

**  
It was a whole week now that Cas had been under. It seemed like Cas was recovering well, as the doctors removed the ventilators, as Cas was breathing on his own now. Now, all they needed was for Cas to wake up. _All HE needed. _

Dean saw what the doctors described as _Rapid Eve Movement_ under the lids of Cas eyes. They said that it’s possible that Cas was having dreams. _Dean hoped pleasant ones._ He constantly had a grip on Cas hand, thumbing the man’s knuckles, laying gently pecks on those soft knuckles every once in a while and murmuring into the skin, ‘**_Cas baby. Come back to me. Please I need you’._**

Dean would shed silent tears when Cas never responded. 

Dean would lay his scruffy cheek against Cas forearm and fall asleep. _He would wait. _

Then a few hours later, something miraculous happened. The brush of someone’s fingers through his hair. The croaky, yet warm voice murmuring weakly, “Dean. Wake up. Come back to me”.

Dean’s eyelids immediately snapped open. With a rapidly beating heart he lifted his head and finally met tired blue eyes, coupled with a small smile. Dean’s vision blurred with tears, as he shakily uttered, “Cas”.

Castiel felt like a train wreck, but the love in his heart for the green eyed, tired man beside his hospital bed was enough to wash all that uncomfortableness away. He cupped Dean’s scruffy cheek and replied, “Hello Dean”. And they say that a near death experience surely changes your perspective about life- well one things for sure- amidst this chaos around him- Cas wasn’t going to let Dean slip through his fingers again. 

_Never_.

**The end of the first part of series.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And I have decided to end this fic here. There will be a second part to this series where there’s more drama, angst, romance. It’ll have a Destiel Endgame. 
> 
> I’d like to thank my readers for encouraging me throughout this fic ❤️ You are the best!
> 
> Stay tuned!


End file.
